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  •  » help needed !!! can anyone correct this report plz..

#1 22-07-2010 08:02:22

nono
Member
Registered: 22-07-2010
Posts: 13

help needed !!! can anyone correct this report plz..

i will be grateful if anyone replied as soon as possible..
ACADEMIC IELTS TEST

writing task 1
the question says the charts below show the results of a survey of adult education.The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study.the pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared.write 150 words.

my answer:

In this report I am going to describe 2 charts.

The first is a barchart that shows the number of adults(in percentages) and reasons why they decide to study. The least percentage (9%) goes to meeting people, closely followed by 12% for the ability to change jobs. Also, 2 equal percentages were given to enjoying learning/studying and improving prospects of promotion which were both 20%.Where as, 22% of adults said they want to study because,it will be helpful for their current jobs. 38% was given for gaining qualifications and the last one gets the most percentage with(40%) for interest in subject.

The second is a pie chart that gives an overview on how the costs of each course should be shared amongst people.Firstly, it shows that 40% of the costs must be paid by an individual. This is by far the maximum percentage in this chart.Secondly, te employer should pay 35%. Finally, the tax payers ought to pay the least amount with 25% of the costs.

This ends my report. (172 words)






how much band width will i get in this report???

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#2 27-07-2010 20:17:50

Pete J
Member
Registered: 17-06-2010
Posts: 8
Website

Re: help needed !!! can anyone correct this report plz..

Hi,

With IELTS Academic Writing task 1, it's important to provide an overview of the information shown, identify and highlight the main features, and illustrate them with detailed figures.

Without seeing the charts, it's not possible for me to say whether you've included all of the main features and/or whether the figures you've included are correct.

However, I can say that there is no obvious overview in your answer and this would affect your IELTS score.

Based on what you've written, a possible overview could start like this:

"Overall, it is clear that there are various reasons that adults decide to study and that..."

You could put it after your introduction or as a conclusion.

For more help, check out some of the posts about IELTS Writing Task 1 on the IELTS preparation blog on my website.

Pete


Pete Jones
IELTS tutor
www.e-englishteacher.com

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